Tuesday, July 8, 2014

I'm a Pilgrim, I'm a Soldier -- July 20, 2014

July 20, 2014

Maupay nga aga tanan! 

This is so odd that this is my second to last e-mail as a missionary. It's ok. You can all just pretend like it's not happening like I do. Haha Just kidding.

Well, typhoon Glenda brought her rage. I don't know why I thought there wouldn't be another typhoon/natural disaster on my mission. It actually didn't do lots of damage to my area. The worst of it in my zone was in Allen. Those missionaries got temporarily pulled out. But they are back now. The worst that happened to us was that we didn't have electricity for a few days, or water. But it's ok. We have a well outside our house! So, everything was ok. 

Something cool happened. We had a giant tree in our backyard that fell. It should have smashed our roof in, but we didn't even hear it fall on our house. It was like it was lightly lowered. All of the sudden, there was a tree smashed up against our bedroom window! But there was absolutely no damage. Like it's such a heavy tree! We didn't even hear it land on our roof. So, that was a huge blessing!

There were some members in our ward that had their houses damaged and some destroyed. But, a cute returned member, Michelle, told a story in Relief society about her experience. She has just recently come back to church and started paying her tithing again. She lives in a small one room bamboo home, with 4 small children. She said that her kids were really worried that their roof was going to blow off, and they were crying. So, she helped them start to pray. And she prayed with her children that their house would be ok. After the storm, their neighbors' house, which is nicer than theirs, was completely destroyed, and theirs was untouched. I never really realized before my mission how much paying our tithing physically and spiritually protect us. 

After the typhoon, our president was trying to decide if our whole zone should get pulled out or not. So, we decided that if we were pulled out, we wanted to get all our investigators interviewed so they could still get baptized even if we weren't here. So, we had our district leader come and interview all our girls- 6 in all. It was Sheina's birthday, so we had a little surprise party for her while we were waiting for all the interviews to get done. It was so cute! I love those girls! 

As we were waiting, one of the girls, Jelli, asked me if I knew how to play the piano. I told her that I used to.... and she asked me to teach her how to play a song. I can only play like the top hand if there are no sharps or flats but I remember how to play twinkle twinkle little star, so that's what I taught her. I taught her what the notes were, how to read the music, how to put her hands on the keys..etc. And then she started practicing. It was the cutest thing! She messed up so many times, she would just say, "oops," then laugh, then start over again until we got it. 

In my personal study this week I have really been focusing on the Mercy and Grace of our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ. I feel like that's how they see our lives. They give us the tools we need, then they let us practice. They intervene when we are stuck, and they help us keep going. I feel like the only thing that would disappoint them is if we just stopped practicing or trying (I know mom, I'm sorry I quit piano when I was 12. You were right, and I should have just kept practicing). 

I read a really cool scripture in Alma 34. Everyone knows that Christ saves us. But do we really understand what he saves us from? I know the first answer that came to my mind was sin. But, I learned that that isn't necessarily true. Christ saves us from Justice. If the punishment from Justice didn't exist, sinning wouldn't matter. Because he answered justice, we don't have to be punished. In verse 16 it says, 

"And thus mercy CAN satisfy the demands of justice, and encircles them in the arms of safety, while he that exercises no faith unto repentance is exposed to the whole law of the demands of Justice; therefore only unto repentance is brought about the great and eternal plan of redemption.

17 Therefore may God grant unto you, my brethren, that ye may begin to exercise your faith unto repentance, that ye begin to call upon his holy name, that he would have mercy upon you;

18 Yeah, cry unto him for mercy; for he is mighty to save."

I testify that Christ is mighty to save us from Justice. One thing I learned in the Cebu mission from President Schmutz is that we, as humans, cannot justify our sins. I, Sister Bingham, can't justify my sins and shortcomings. I can't wish them away, or ignore them and pretend that they never happened, because Justice is fair. That's why it is justice. But, Because Christ literally paid for us. Because he literally took and suffered our punishments for us, only He can justify our sins. And his mercy acts as a force field so that justice has no claim on us. We can be humble, we can repent, and then HE can pretend like they never happened.

I was giving my farewell talk in my ward yesterday, and as I was speaking, this principle finally clicked in my head. Once it did, I just started crying and I couldn't stop. I love my Savior sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much! I can't express my gratitude for Him. And for soldering my punishments so that I don't have to experience the torments of a dammed soul.

I know that without Christ, we are fallen, hardened, and lost. We need him. Repentance is not scary. Repentance is necessary. I have loved helping people repent on my mission. I love seeing these sweet Filipino people cast their old selves away, and become changed through Christ. As His representative, I would like to take this opportunity to encourage those of you who may have given up practicing for a while, and take his hand, and try again. He loves you, and desires your salvation. I know that His atonement is infinite and eternal, and I know that it is sufficient to change us and forgive us.

I know this church is true with my whole soul.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

Love forever,

Sister Bingham

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